hate feeling used; I love feeling useful.
Really, what’s the difference? In both cases I help someone. But one feels awful and the other feels great.
An intuitive answer is that you feel used when you’re not compensated and you feel useful when it’s a fair exchange. There’s something to this but it doesn’t jibe with the high value we put on being generous and giving selflessly. If “tis better to give than receive,” why would you feel used when you do just that?
Another intuitive answer is that you feel used when you give involuntarily and useful when you give voluntarily. There’s something to this also but the line between involuntary and voluntary is often not easy to draw. Yes, if forced at gunpoint you give what you are absolutely sure you don’t want to give, you are likely to feel used and not useful. Still, there are a lot of cases in the gray area between voluntary and involuntary. If you invest money in a venture based on an accurate but charismatic sales pitch about the venture’s prospects is that voluntary or involuntary? If it tanks, and you feel used, is that because you gave against your will? Would you still feel used if it succeeds gloriously?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment